miércoles, 7 de febrero de 2007

How to get to your woman to love spanking

How To Get Your Woman To Love Spanking

by Jacqueline Omerta

I have the ultimate sure-fire way for you to get the woman in your life into spanking. Follow my plan and I guarantee you'll have good solid spanking fun in the comfort of your own home within the next six months. Forget the ads, internet newsgroups and scene parties.

Don't waste your time meeting people who have nothing in common with you other than spanking. Don't get sucked into the 'spanking scene' which has nothing to do with your lifestyle or reality. Instead find your perfect match the conventional way - work, clubs, blind dates. Create your own scene with the woman you love.

The Obvious Methods Don't Work
Many advocates of the spanking lifestyle tell you the only way to meet someone into spanking is to find someone else within the scene. They suggest you go to scene parties, place ads or join internet newsgroups. I disagree.

If you are looking to meet your life partner, chances are good they won't be at an event or on an internet group. You need to have more in common than spanking. Would you base a relationship on your love of blow-jobs? Spanking is only one small aspect of your life. It's a charged aspect only because it's something you don't have. Once you incorporate spanking into your lifestyle, you'll need a great deal more in order to have a well-rounded on-going relationship. Just like you can't have sex all the time, you can't be spanking 24 hours a day. I know you want to now, but think of the whole picture.

Ads and scene events are your very last resort. I have a sure-fire way for you to get your mate to play. The key word here is mate. The lady has to be someone who is involved with you for a long time or someone you know is 'the bomb'. This is the person you have lots of things in common with and there's some kind of commitment or potential for an on-going relationship. This is the person you can meet at work, at a social event, a political rally, at the gym, on a blind date, at the park or anywhere. I believe that you can convert your own mate into a spanking playmate, if you are confident and follow my plan.

She may not be as obsessed with spanking as you (that you must be born into) but she'll be an enthusiastic play partner. The right woman will be more than happy to do whatever it takes to please their man.

Confidence Is The Key
Confidence means that you are already comfortable with your own love of spanking. You have to feel that spanking is something that is unique to you. That spanking is not an activity that you are ashamed of, but rather something that you enjoy. That spanking is not for freaks but an enjoyable erotic activity that is fun for everyone. When you feel that way, you are more likely to be able to introduce spanking into your relationship. It's all about attitude.

How Do You Get That Spanking Confidence?
In order to reach that level of confidence you must have a little bit of experience under your belt. In the past it wasn't uncommon for fathers to take their young sons to brothels before their wedding night. At that time, most women were virgins up until the time they got married. Men couldn't get the hands-on experience they needed in order to be a self-assured sexual aggressor. Therefore, a visit or two to an understanding hooker had tremendous benefits. Follow my thinking?

It's not so easy to find a girl who likes spanking so why not to do a professional session or two in order to get your feet wet? Lucky for you, there are many pros that are well versed in the aspect of spanking and discipline.

A good professional will guide you and help you explore the fantasy. If she's worth her money, she'll also give you a feeling of unconditional acceptance. Hopefully, you won't feel so alone or freaky after you actually get some good, real playtime under your belt. While you're there, I suggest you experience both sides of spanking (giving and receiving) - remember you're doing research. How are you going to give a spanking if you've never felt one yourself?

You can also get experience by answering ads or going to parties. However, you may not always get what you want and there's a great deal of risk when you deal with strangers. Parties are good in that they reinforce the fact that you are not alone in your love of spanking. If you go, enjoy the experience but don't count on getting too much playtime or meeting someone to date.

You're The Salesman When You Introduce Spanking Into Your Relationship
Once you feel OK and good about spanking as something that is a part of you, broach the subject in a positive way. No one wants to see your face get red or hear your voice crack when you bring up the topic. You need to talk about spanking enthusiastically as something that turns you on and something she'll enjoy. In other words, you need to develop the same kind of skills any sales person uses when approaching a potential client. A good salesperson can sell anything. He'll sell you a bag of ice and make you feel happy making the purchase.

When Should I Broach My Partner?
Not today. This takes some work and you have to finesse the topic. When you're ready, don't blurt out that you'd like to pull down her panties spank her pretty bare bottom. I have a proven technique that's worked successfully with hundreds of couples who have come to me for counseling.

My method allows you to ease in slowly and purposefully. All you have to do is leave your inhibitions at the door and find the actor that lies within you. The great part is that you can be somebody other than yourself. You can play any part that you can imagine. I'm talking about doing some fun role playing that's guaranteed to steer her towards having positive feelings about spanking.

What is Role-Playing?
Role playing is kind of like acting. It entails setting up scenarios and playing them out. I do scenarios successfully in my sessions all the time. It allows me to connect and play with almost anyone. Even though I often do spanking sessions with people I barely know and oftentimes with newcomers, once we begin role-playing inhibitions fly out of the closet. It's easy because all of a sudden we become someone else. We think - it's that person who needs a spanking. It's that character who is getting what they deserve.

Role-playing allows you to act out all your favorite spanking stories. You know the ones I'm talking about.you can be the teacher, boss, next door neighbor, football captain, uncle or daddy; virtually anything that strikes your fancy.

Why Do They Work?
Because when you role-play, you are not yourself. You can be anyone that strikes your imagination. It enables you to say and do things outside your own self. You can put yourself inside someone else's shoe and play the part. The cool part - you don't have to take responsibility for what you say or do. You're someone else - so who cares?

Role-plays reveal a deep-rooted part of the spanking psyche. It's possible to learn a great deal about a person's inner being by the way they give and receive a spanking. Role-plays are sweet and extremely erotic, Every time I do a role-play it's a little different depending on my mood and the person I'm role playing with. Trust me, it's a spanking good time!

How To Start
Plan a special evening for the two of you. Make sure you have complete privacy. Prepare a light dinner with a good bottle of wine. Set the tone and stage for a romantic sex filled night. Remind her that she's beautiful and she's the only woman who turns you on.

How To Explain Role-Play Night

Role-playing is something that allows people to explore their sexual fantasies. Role-playing is a great vehicle to reveal deeper, hidden aspects of the personality. It's a way to grow close and explore new territory.

Reinforce the fact that role-playing has nothing to do with wanting different partners. Explain that you had always wanted to try this, but until you met her, you never had the nerve. Make sure she knows that you are asking her to share this night because she's special and she's someone you trust.

Here's the hard part. You can't jump into spanking role-plays too much on this first evening. If you want my plan to work, you need to be patient and concentrate on showing her a good time. This is your lady's night. Make it special, be attentive and make sure she's satisfied in every way.

The Execution Of Role-Play Night
Give her a piece of paper and ask her to write down three scenarios that she'd like to play-act with you. Tell her to be honest. No matter what she says you will not judge her and you will do your best to play out any scene that she wants.

At the same time you will write down three of your own scenarios.

Make a Pact: you promise to indulge each other as best as you can no matter how silly the scenario. Take turns acting out each other's fantasies. Give each other the opportunity to make modifications to any of the scenarios. This will be a good way to see if she has a true psychological block to spanking. If she does, make a note and talk about it later but don't dwell on the subject, Remember, this is her night! Make sure and act out her scenarios no matter what.

Your Non-Spanking Scenarios
Sorry guys, only one of the three can be a spanking scenario. Here are some suggestions for Non-Spanking Scenarios:
- You're her knight in shining armor and come to rescue her
- You are going to deflower her for the first time
- You are a teacher that wants to seduce his student
- You are a stranger that falls in love with her on first sight

You get the idea. Your fantasies can be on the dominant, assertive side but very caring and loving at the same time.

Your Spanking Scenarios
If you need some suggestions, I say start with these. They are relatively mild and pretty harmless:
- She's your neighbor who plays music too loud. Rather than call the cops, you take matters in your own hands.
- She's a girl who's caught shoplifting.
- You're the teacher and she's a student who is about to fail your class
- You're a police officer and she's caught speeding and under the influence

The First Spanking
Make this scenario the most fun one of the night. Make sure she's having a good time. Let her giggle and play the part of a naughty girl. Give her lots of positive reinforcement by telling her how cute she looks, how much fun you're having and how cool you think spanking can be.

Put her over your knee gently. Do lots of bottom rubbing. Compliment her shape. Express your delight in the panties she's wearing. Make her feel like the most beautiful creature in the world while she's over your lap. Start spanking very gently. Light taps. Take note of her reactions. Is she wiggling? Grinding into your lap? Sticking her bottom up higher? All these are great signs and a go ahead for you to continue. Body language is an excellent way to gauge her real feelings for spanking.

- Don't' do bare-bottom spanking this first night unless she herself begs you to pull down her panties.
- Don't spank too hard. When that scenario is done, go on to the next one.
- Don't make that the last role-play and don't act like it's any different than the others.

Her Role Plays
When you do hers, you have to make sure you are giving your one hundred percent best. Please her, please her, and please her. The more you please her, the better she'll please you.

The Next Day
Buy her a gift. Flowers, jewelry - anything to let her know how special she is to you. Take her to dinner within the next few days. Casually bring up the role play night and explore her reactions. First find out if you fulfilled her fantasies. What could you have done to make them better?

Talk about your reactions. Tell her how much you appreciated her participation. Talk about the scenarios and how well she did. At this time, you can mention that you especially liked the spanking scenario. If you sense that she's been happy with events thus far, you can disclose that spanking kind of turns you on. Don't tell her exactly how much. Just mention that there's something about seeing her bottom redden that drove you wild. Compliment her body a lot and explain how cute she looked playing a naughty girl. You can even act a little bewildered at this time - "gee I don't why I liked this but I did".

The Future
If you had a successful first role-play night, repeat it again in the future. Don't do it right away unless she makes the request. If she doesn't mention it again, bring it up in about 6 weeks. Repeat the above. If you are feeling brave, add one more spanking role-play.

Communication Over The Next Six Months
After the second role playing you can disclose a little more about your spanking fantasies. You can admit that they are a little more than just a passing fantasy. Explore her reactions and be very attentive to her needs and concerns.

Try and do a few more role play evenings. If she continues to be open and receptive, you can add more and more spanking role plays and hopefully she'll have some ideas of her own. Slowly you can share some of your spanking erotica with her. Show her some milder spanking video and magazines. Always talk about spanking in a positive way as something that is fun and enjoyable for both parties. Remember to also focus on her fantasies and things that turn her on.

Follow my plan and if you encounter difficulties, go back to square one. Remember to be attentive to her, make sure you make her feel like she's the most special person in your life and give her lots and lots of sexual satisfaction. The more satisfied she is; the more she'll be open to satisfying you.

This plan has proved successful and I promise it can work for you. Remember to be patient, loving and attentive. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email. Let me know how the "Jacqueline Omerta Role-Play Plan" works for you. Happy Spanking!

- Jacqueline Omerta

Jacqueline Omerta is a professional counselor with an expertise in sexuality and fetish behavior. She has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and over 20 years experience with sexual fantasy and fetish. She is the president and co-founding member of Pacific Force, Inc. She writes and directs all scenarios and story lines for Pacific Force movies. She overseas the production of all movies in order to insure authenticity and accurate portrayal of the spanking fetish and lifestyle. She is available for consultation through the contact information below.

©2003 Jacqueline Omerta/Pacific Force, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
This article has been registered with the US Library of Congress and is protected by US copyright laws.
This page may not be reproduced in whole or in part on any other website or graphic medium.
18 U.S.C. Section 2257 Compliance

Jacqueline Omerta
13029 A Victory Blvd. #355
North Hollywood, CA 91606

email: MISJACQ@aol.com

sábado, 3 de febrero de 2007

Secrets of enjoyable Spanking II


Building the intensity:

Disciplinary spankings are applied at nearly full intensity with little or no warmup. For sensual spankings, the intensity should be carefully increased. There are several reasons for this. The low beginning intensity enhances blood flow to the area (perfusion) which helps prevent marking and bruising when the intensity increases. Also, when intensity is carefully increased during the stages of play, the bottom can take much higher levels than if not warmed up. And this also helps build confidence and trust when playing with someone for the first time.
Intensity is built in steps, not a straight line. Imagine an intensity scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is the lightest impact that can be felt and 10 is the hardest impact that can be tolerated. Intensity is built from 1 to 2 to 3. Then intensity is reduced back to 2, then increased from 2 to 3 to 4. Then back to 3, then from 3 to 4 to 5, etc. During the heart of the play, the intensity can vary from 5 to 10, with rate being a factor. During cooldown, intensity is reduce back down in steps - 10 to 9 to 8, then 9 to 8 to 7, etc.

Disciplinary spankings normally occur at a constant and brisk rate. Sensual spankings generally start and end at very slow rates, with a number of rate changes adding to the sensation. During warmup, the rate is slow. Starting at about one impact every 2-3 seconds and increasing very gradually to about 1 per second. A slow, steady rate is relaxing and comforting, and puts the bottom at ease. Cooldown is the compliment - about 1 per second decreasing to once every 2-3 seconds.
During the heart of the play, maximum effect results when the pace varies slightly. The anticipation of the impact is as intoxicating as the impact itself - varying the timing retains that anticipation. Maintain a rate of about 1 per second, then gradually increase to about 2 per second. Then gradually decrease to about 1 per second. The whole cycle should take about a minute. And an alert top will notice the bottom clenching in anticipation of the timing - skip a beat.
A few short bursts of about 4 impacts per second really heighten the heart of the play. Coming without warning, the bursts should last about 5-10 seconds. And they should happen no more than about 3 times during the session. And remember to follow the pattern and reduce the intensity about 2 levels.

The warmup:
This is the most important part of sensual play, and should take a full third of the time spent. It sets the tone and calms a racing heart. The top should position the bottom making them comfortable. Begin by gently stroking the backs of the legs up to the top of the thighs, and the shoulders down to the base of the spine. Repeat a few times until there is no muscle tightness or tension.
A good OTK session begins over the clothing, starting at a rate of about 3 per second and increasing to about 1 per second. Intensity steps up from 1 to about 5. At this point, the top layer of clothing is removed exposing the undergarments. Doing this slowly heightens the anticipation. With the undergarments exposed, repeat the warmup from the very beginning. Do not skimp or rush - remember to always keep building the anticipation. Near the end, pull back the undergarments to expose the cheeks. The bottom may find this exciting, but the purpose is for the top to check the color (arrethema). It should be a very even light pink. And this is a good time for a minute of gentle stroking.
A minute of impacts, then restore the undergarments snugly across the buttocks. Then about another minute of play. Afterward, ever so slowly, slide the undergarments down to just above the knees. This is an extremely exciting time for the bottom, so slow patience is critical. The bottom may arch up to assist, and the top should try to minimize this - better they remain relaxed and feel the sensation. A minute a gentle stroking works wonders, but avoid squeezing. Light fingertip touching on the pinkened area, backs of the legs, and shoulders. Again, repeat the warmup from the very beginning. Take your time, remembering to build the anticipation.

The heart of the play:
This is a time of excitement and caution. Build the intensity in steps, then vary the rate, adding in the short bursts. After using the hand, this is the time for toys - all the techniques described under intensity and rate can be repeated using them as well. Different toys provide different sensations. Implements having a small contact surface area are generally "stingy," while those having a larger surface area are "thuddy." Different shapes (e.g. oval) apply impact over different areas to vary the sensation. Begin with thuddy toys moving toward stingy and back again. Every bottom will have a preference. If toys are used, 80% of bottoms prefer leather over wood. Wood offers no forgiveness to match the contour of the body, and has a tendency to bruise. Focus on the favorite sensation, but do not completely neglect the others - it adds contrast. And this is the time to vary positions. It provides further excitement for the bottom, and gives the top a chance to stretch and catch a breath.
A good top pays close attention during this time. Hand spanking can leave small red speckles on the bottom - the intensity should be reduced and the rate increased. And check that the palm remains slightly cupped. And an alert top checks the side of the buttock furthest away several times during the play for marking or wrapping not easily visible. If toys are used, soft leather can wrap, leaving marks. Dark red swirls or bright red / bluish outlines on the cheeks indicate the intensity is too high. Either the toy is too heavy, too stiff, or is being used too hard. The bottom cannot see their own buttocks, and the top is responsible for monitoring condition. It is better to go longer and lighter. The color should be an even glowing crimson, with no mottling.

If the spanking is properly applied with a good warmup and careful intensity building, the bottom may experience an endorphin release (a chemical similar to cocaine) in their brain. The common expressions are "sub-zone," "zoning" or "flying" during this experience. This is really where the bottom wants to go (once it's been experienced! ) and where a focused and caring top wants to take them. And it may not happen every time, and certain implements (especially leather) may be more adept at inducing this delightful sensation.
Clues for the top to look for are a sudden quitetness and passivity - the bottom seems to have no reaction to the spanking. A common misinterpretation among inexperienced tops is that they have to spank harder or change the implement as the bottom has grown disinterested. Just the opposite is true! The challenge for the top is to immediately recognize this condition and change nothing. And the bottom should inform the top after the play has ended if a repeat is desired. One note of caution however - the endorphin release may also cause headaches afterwards. To help prevent this, the top should not "zone" the bottom for longer than 2-3 minutes before beginning cooldown.

The cooldown:
This is the best part, and well worth a quarter of the time spent - a time of gentle sighs and deep relaxation. There is no substitute for the hand to cool down the bottom in a lying down OTK position. Gradually step down the intensity and reduce the rate - do not hurry. When at the lowest level, intermittent half-minute periods of gentle finger tip stroking and light massage, followed by slow and light impacts helps to maintain blood flow. This helps to reduce marking or bruising that may appear later. Continue the intermittent periods until all the color is nearly faded.
When the color is nearly gone, a few minutes of gentle stroking with a soft brush or rabbit's fur adds a nice finishing touch. Then lotion or oil applied after warming in the palm - do not apply it cold.

After playing:
A hug is traditional. No other form of exchange is required, or should be expected. Spanking can be sexually arousing, but to enjoy it to it's fullest it should never be considered "foreplay." It's a very special path to pleasure that creates a satisfaction all its own. Whether erotic or disciplinary, spanking should be enjoyed as just that and not be co-mingled with other emotional experiences and responses. Else all the vitality, relaxation and satisfaction is compromised. Most people attracted to spanking discovered it at an early age (under 10 years old) long before any sexual awareness or identity develops. Enjoy it for the very special form of satisfaction it is!

Secrets of enjoyable Spanking I

This article came to me through "Spanking Files Yahoo Group" . It seems very interesting, so that I´ve decided to post it. I´ve translated to spanish in my blog "el despacho del spanker"

Secrets of Enjoyable Spanking

Many people have never played, nor had the opportunity to watch experienced people play. And perhaps a spouse or friend has expressed an interest. Knowing how to proceed makes all the difference between a satisfying experience and and an ill-fated disappointment. A good adult spanking takes about an hour, and by following the suggestions outlined, an inexperienced player can look like an old hand in making fantasy a reality, which is what this is all about.

Agree on safewords. "Yellow" is a common word meaning the bottom is at the limit, and the impacts should be no harder nor come any faster. "Red" means stop. Choose whatever words you like, and remember that the bottom has a responsibility for communicating and the top for responding.

The open hand:
When using the hand, it should be cupped slightly with a small gap between the fingers. Place the tip of the thumb against the side of the index finger knuckle. The hand should be firm, but not tight. The wrist is kept straight, and the elbow is bent to adjust the distance. Impacts come from the upper arm/shoulder, and are delivered straight on to the target. This is the American style. The European style delivers upwards and downwards arcing, glancing impacts. They are hard to target and pull the skin. The American style is more direct, and preferred by most bottoms.

The number of positions are limited only by imagination and common sense. And the basic rule is "comfort is king!" Tightly stretched positions (e.g. holding the ankles) should be used only for short periods. The skin and underlying flesh is drawn tight, and not allowed to displace from the impact. Often this leads to marking and bruising. Other positions where the bottom's weight is carried by internal organs and the diaphragm (e.g. OTK using a chair) should also only be used for short periods. A short period means no more than about 10 minutes.
When bent over, the angle formed between the thighs and back should not exceed 45 degrees. The "on all fours" position is best when kneeling is done on knees and hands (with straight arms) and not knees and elbows. Or kneeling mostly upright on the seat of a chair or sofa. When standing the hands should be placed on a table or back of a chair to help maintain balance and support the weight downward. A wall helps maintain balance, but will not provide support if "dancing" begins. When lying down, pillows underneath the head, hips and ankles work wonders - it is far more comfortable than simply lying flat.
The sofa or bed makes the most relaxing and enjoyable place for OTK. The top should sit as far back as possible so the bottom is completely supported. Placing a pillow under the bottom's head and ankles makes it even more comfortable. When relaxed, the bottom finds it easier to go to the special place inside them (i.e. zoning, sub-zoning, flying).

Striking the same spot repeatedly is not preferred by many bottoms. The area needs a short time to recover. And striking above the tip of the tailbone is dangerous - the nerves exiting the base of the spine and the kidneys can easily be injured. An easy way to prevent this during OTK is for the top to lightly place one hand on the bottom's lower back. Extend the thumb so it touches the tip of the tailbone. This protects the area from inadvertent misses, especially if the bottom wiggles or kicks.
Draw an imaginary line across the buttocks between the tip of the tailbone and the very top of the thigh. Each cheek will be divided into a upper and lower section. Strike in a rotating pattern - for example: upper left, lower right, upper right, lower left, and repeat. Vary the pattern during play - at least once a minute. Then divide each cheek into thirds, create a pattern, then vary it.
Occasionally during play, a single gentle strike on the top of the thigh can be added in. This is a very sensitive area requiring reduced intensity. And for maximum effect, no more than 3-4 times on each thigh during play.